Quick Notes on Families

It seems that there have been a number of different family states between men and women through the ages and in different cultures.

The most common bond has been the conjugal family which consists of a man, woman and their children.

Another well known form of bonding is polygyny wherein a man has many concurrent wives. The practice of polygyny is quite rare and mostly practiced by the wealthy classes. Concubinage is fairly common among the upper or leader classes through history and is a form of polygyny.

A rarer form of bonding can also occur in that a woman may have many several concurrent husbands. This has at least been noted in Tibet among the Todas where all brothers marry the same woman to create a polyandry relationship.

The various bonding types are probably a reflection of the dominance of patriarchical societies as there have been very few matriarchcal societies although the Mosuo women are still in control within their corner of the world.

A seemingly disturbing but apparently common practice was wife sharing. This was the practice of sharing your wife with another man for a special occasion or simply for an overnight visitor. It seems that this can still be found in the modern world.

Hxaro and Sharing

Image via WikipediaHxaro is a cultural aspect of the San. It basically involves the creation of obligation as a means of insuring against the future.

Understanding the San way of life provides ethnographic insight into the Late Stone Age cultures in southern Africa. This means that a potential understanding of how people lived in the last 2000 years can be gained.

Hxaro is interesting - especially when considered in light of gift giving within the Roman Empire. The mechanics around hxaro, involve the manufacture of a gift which is then handed to a specifically chosen person. The gift is usually something decorative or practical - not food. The gift may be kept and used by the recipient or passed on to someone else. When a hxaro gift is passed on it forms a chain of responsibility with the subsequent recipients inheriting an obligation to the original giver. The partners in hxaro may allow the relationship to drop or may foster it. Dropping a hxaro partner becomes more difficult once a chain has been established.

In choosing a hxaro partner, the environmental factors are considered. Having a wide range of potential partners means that there is more scope when some difficulty arises within the environment. When the region cannot support a tribe or family group they manufacture gifts to take to their established hxaro partners in other regions. As the relationship is birectional, the hxaro process has the effect of sharing the risk.

Gifts in Roman times were primarily used as a means of gaining support for illicit practices and other general bribery. It's quite refreshing to come across a practice that is mutually beneficial as well as establishing an obligation for both partners.